Nea Fane – Un Biet Român Pripășit în America / A Hapless Romanian Stuck in The US

Before

I woke up at 1 am ‘cause Gicu the young one had a tummy ache from eating half o’ dead bird with Baloo the giant one and he woke up whining and I had to let him out to do his business and then I laid down on the couch in the living room and I fell asleep and Gicu the young one came by my side and we both shared the couch sardine style and he had the hiccups and his little belly had spasms and Baloo the giant one came by and licked him all over including at the essential doggie parts and just because I was snoring with my mouth open he licked me in my mouth and I woke up dreaming that a dog is licking me in my mouth and guess what it was true and very enthusiastically I run to brush my teeth and then I closed the patio door but I had to open it again ‘cause Gicu the young one asked himself out and here we went again from the beginning until 5 am when anyway they had to be up because the 5:05 am cat walks by and they have to greet her and announce the whole neighborhood that they are up and alert and so the last drop of energy went down the drain and now I am at work zombie tired yet working like a maniac for their kibble.

After

I woke up at 1 am ‘cause Gicu, the young one, had a tummy ache from eating half’a dead bird with Baloo, the giant one, and he woke up whining and I had to let him out to do his business. I then laid down in the living room and fell asleep and Gicu, the younger, came by and we both shared the couch sardine style. He had the hiccups and his little belly had spasms and Baloo, the giant one, came by and licked him all over, including all the essential doggie parts and, just because I was snoring with my mouth open, he proceeded to clean that up as well.  I woke up dreaming that a dog was licking me in the mouth, which, guess what, was more truth than most people usually require at that hour of day, enough truth to propel me to an enthusiastic brushing of my teeth. I then had to close the patio door, but had to open it again because Gicu, the younger, asked himself out and here we went again from the beginning until 5 am when they had to be up anyway because the 5:05 am cat walks by and they have to greet her and reassure the entire neighborhood that they are up and alert and ready for anything except peace and quiet. And so, with the last drop of energy slinking slowly into the sunrise, I am now at work, zombie-tired, working like a maniac for their kibble.