Nea Fane – Un Biet Român Pripășit în America / A Hapless Romanian Stuck in The US

Why is British Airways flight BA288 so famous? Because this is THE flight, the only direct flight to Europe from the Great Valley of the Sun.

I should have known that something is wrong when the time shown on the tiny entertainment screen was almost double the time scheduled. We were already in flight, so definitely something was not OK. 

And then the entertainment system crashed, and the overhead lights stayed ON, and the air conditioning system stayed OFF. Only for the side I was seated on and for the last 15 rows. Things started to get really intimate in that part of the cabin. The guys on the right had no idea what was going on and why the sweaty guys on the left were leaning towards them.

At least I paid only $1.00 for the ticket (plus $712.00 in taxes, but still, $1.00 – British Airways had a flash sale for Brexit, something like “look how far a buck will take you”). It was a perfect example of the expression “you get what you pay for”. I wasn’t very upset, but my neighbors were very vocal. They paid full price.

They kept us very well hydrated, though; I didn’t drink anything in the last 90 days (due to a very restrictive FAD) and suddenly I found myself in Chenin Blanc heaven. I happily obliged.

Suddenly the air conditioning was on, full blast, and the light went OFF, after much tinkering by one of the flight attendants. The lead attendant explained that now they are working on the video system. I found myself speaking from the bottom on the bottle and I asked him to pretty please stop working at the electrical systems while in flight. He thought I’m joking and gave me some more wine. Again, I happily obliged, although I wasn’t joking.

Fast forward, in the last 20 minutes of the flight the video system was back on, to everybody’s surprise, including the repairman’s. He was very happy, yet totally puzzled.

Other than this, the actual flight (the most important part) was smooth; the flight attendants, a bunch of old boys, Monty Python style, were awesome. And the captain, oh my captain, one of his quotes: “a left shoe arrived in my cabin without the owner. Ladies, please look at your feet and if you miss a shoe please let us all know. We want to see you. The shoe we have it’s a Michael Kors, so, if you wear matching shoes, this makes for an expensive pair.”