My father played sports. My uncle, his brother, played sports. My cousins, my uncle’s boys, also play sports. They all have the opposite of Dad bodies. They’re the standard for their clothing sizes. You know those catalog notes: “The model is 5’9” and wears a size M”? That’s them. And then there’s me. Pear-shaped, decidedly…… Continue reading The Long Game of Mr. Cosmin
Category: Cosmin
The Big Book Of Grief
This is an apology post. Well, not quite. I spent two years writing this book/magazine. When I finally declared it finished, I sent it by email to some of you. And then, being a product of the Facebook generation, I waited for feedback. And waited. And waited… impatiently. One reply came quickly, tearful and kind.…… Continue reading The Big Book Of Grief
Total Wine & More Therapy
A Quiet Toast to the Son We Will Always Carry Another Mother’s Day Without Cosmin … I knew the level of sadness would be off the charts, so I tried to make it a little better, just a little, by buying some of my wife’s favorite beers. I know that drinking isn’t a solution, but…… Continue reading Total Wine & More Therapy
A Non-Hallmark Christmas Story
Cosmin didn’t like Christmas. He had enjoyed it a long time ago, back when he was younger and his beloved Grandma was still with us. They even attempted caroling at one point, but being Popescus, they quickly realized their limitations and ended up simply reading the words—plenty of feeling, but no singing. Last Christmas with…… Continue reading A Non-Hallmark Christmas Story
Diana Krall or the $35 Sleeping Pill
…She got right down to business, making fun of the many saguaros and other prickly plants in Phoenix (to prove, I guess, she actually knew where she was performing), sharing stories about her two sons, and making some absolutely unnecessary remarks about how hot it was outside. …
Grief Awareness Day
Today (August 30th) is National Grief Awareness Day. For me, this is called “every day”. I could write pages about grief, but if the last 18 months taught me something is that grief never ends and it’s uniquely personal. I learned to live with it, and even if sometimes I laugh or smile, it doesn’t…… Continue reading Grief Awareness Day
Dreams
Last night, I dreamed of Cosmin. It was the second dream in two years. In the first dream, he was with his ‘most beloved’ grandparents, and they were packing bags. Some bags, I didn’t know whose bags they were, maybe even mine. I was there too and I told them: “Pack only for yourselves, I’m…… Continue reading Dreams
Visuri
Azi noapte l-am visat pe Cosmin. Al doilea vis în doi ani. În primul vis, se făcea că era cu Bunicii lui ‘cei mai iubiți’, și făceau bagaje. Niște bagaje, nu știm ale cui. Poate chiar ale mele. Eram și eu acolo și le spuneam: “faceți bagaje doar pentru voi, eu nu vin.” “Nu, nu,…… Continue reading Visuri
Mother’s Day
BREAKING NWES: as a consequence of this post and more, the car is now in the garage. ****** I found this on Facebook, on one of the Grieving Parents groups: I considered sharing this on social media or sending it to friends and family, but it felt too personal. So, here it is, posted on…… Continue reading Mother’s Day
The After Loss
This grief is crushing. I miss my old life, the joy I had with my family and with my friends. Now I’m filled with sadness, anxiety, and fear. I’m tired of pretending to be strong. It feels impossible to keep carrying on when everything feels meaningless. Trying to find hope again feels like a constant…… Continue reading The After Loss
He is Always on my mind
Today, during my regular bargain hunting trip, I found a product called ‘brioche pretzel’. My first instinct was to buy one for Cosmin too, so we could taste it together and enjoy a good laugh. And then, the gut punch came…
The Endless Emptiness
At the end of March, in 2024, we geared up to mark the second Easter without Cosmin. This year, we accepted our relatives’ invitation and found ourselves in a house bustling with two toddlers, two very pregnant mothers, one young girl in her late teens, and another young girl, navigating her journey through life. Never…… Continue reading The Endless Emptiness
The Great Therapeutic Trip of ’23 – Hulubești
My Family’s Resting Place I left the post about Hulubești for last because it was the hardest one for me to write. The most important reason I came to Romania was to bring the temporary cross number one to Hulubești, which was on Cosmin’s grave here in Arizona. I was a man on a mission.…… Continue reading The Great Therapeutic Trip of ’23 – Hulubești
Fourth of July Trip – West Point
I explained to my little guy how the fish don’t bite right away, you have to be patient and try several times. After a few minutes, I heard him next to me saying, “Hey, fishy-fishy; hey, fishy-fishy-fishy!”
THE Monument
UPDATE : at the end of this post are the pictures of the monument, installed. …. After Irina’s at least three-month of relentless research, emails from New Zealand to Canada, via Italy and Los Angeles, three nervous breakdowns, two days off from work (me), and a river of tears, we finally decided on the design,…… Continue reading THE Monument
Three Generations Go To Spain – in 2009
Stefan’s Dilemma Where should we go on vacation this year? In Romania, obviously, to see Mon Pere, but for how long can you stay in Romania without getting bored out of your mind? How much can you and your friends drink without damaging one’s liver? (Well, we still research this one). After traveling ten thousand…… Continue reading Three Generations Go To Spain – in 2009
21 Mai 2023
Așa cum știți (sau nu), pe 21 Mai a fost ziua lui Cosmin, care ar fi împlinit 30 de ani, dar va rămâne pentru totdeauna, 29. Dar nu despre asta voiam să scriu (de fapt, exact despre asta voiam să scriu, dar fiindu-mi foarte dificil, mă voi concentra pe moriști). Voi scrie despre moriștile de…… Continue reading 21 Mai 2023
May 21st, 2023
Because FOMO is a real thing, Popescus’ lady of the house quickly jumped into the spinners bandwagon and, for 2 weeks she researched wind spinners. We almost got one from Amazon (sold out in the nick of time), then another one also from Amazon (too big), before deciding in 2 identical from Hobby Lobby, small and delicate, just like him.
Unexpected Visitors
Today, May 20th, 2023, while doing our daily routine at Cosmin’s resting place, we had an unexpected visit from a family of Hawks. Three Harris Hawks Usually there are some small, singing birds, and lots of crows. But this was a first. They came, looked at us, and when we left, they left, too. If…… Continue reading Unexpected Visitors
Memory
In October of ’22, at a restaurant in Bucharest, it was our High School reunion, with the majority of the guys actually attending, and the out-of-towners connecting via Zoom. I had been part of some other get-togethers in the past, so there was no news from this guy, but one newcomer was a lady from…… Continue reading Memory
Nea Fane - Un Biet Român Pripășit în America / A Hapless Romanian Stuck in The US 